I'm Baaaaaack!

Wow! It's been a LONG time. I've been in a funk, so overwhelmed with life that I just shut down for a few weeks. I have a zillion e-mails in my inbox to look at, I haven't even looked at all of your blogs in weeks, phone calls to return, Valentine's decorations to take down...yikes! I really need to get with it!

As a lot of you know, my grandmother has been suffering from dementia/alzheimer's for a few years now- actually since Madison was born. She had knee surgery and the anesthesia had some adverse effects, causing memory loss and dementia. The doctors told us that in rare cases it can take up to a year in older patients to recover from the effects of the anesthesia. That wasn't the case with grandma. Instead of getting more lucid, she progressively got worse. It was a rough road- she would think my baby Madison was her daughter Luana who only lived a couple of days, she would constantly think that I was my mom, etc. Then in October, she just stopped eating. She would come over for Sunday dinners and just push the food around on her plate, but wouldn't eat saying food made her sick. From that point on, we watched her wither away. Christmas Eve was the last time she came over. She looked like a skeleton and was so weak. A couple of days later, she fell and was taken to the hospital, and then to an alzemier's care facility. Still not eating, she deteriorated quickly after that, and passed away Saturday, February 28th.

I had the honor of speaking at her funeral and was asked to share the memories that her granchildren and great-grandchildren had of her. I of course being the procrastinator that I am, waited until the night before the services to write my talk. I was struggling because even though we loved each other, grandma and I had always butted heads and "challenged" each other. My brothers Ryan and Sean came over and the 3 of us sat on my bed and laughed and shared stories and memories of grandma until 1am. (Todd was working). After they left, I set to the task of getting everything onto paper. It was as I was writing, tears streaming down my face, that I realized how alike my grandmother and I were. And how much I loved her and would miss her. I am blessed to have had her in my life and my childrens' lives. I will always strive to follow her example of charity, service to others, and unconditional love for all. I know that her mind is clear now, and she is looking down on my family with love and pride.